A shitload of unpleasant things always occurs when my birthday is nearing. Though I have always felt that I was a mistake to be brought into this world, my birthdays the past years have been particularly jinxed.
Should have learnt my lesson and stop celebrating this wretched day.
Really want to kill myself right now.
I am feeling extremely vulnerable tonight. Now I have become that sort of mess that cannot be alone.
I need catharsis but I don’t know how.
Finally got my wake-up call. I have been too cocky and aloof for too long.
You asked me why did I ignore you for so many days.
Isn’t it obvious? Why would I want to talk to you to end up in a situation that I have already predict would happen?
Back to square one. Yes you will always be right, as long as your excuse stands. So good for you.
And thanks for ruining my night.
If I could change for you, why can’t you do the same for me too?
Instead I just get excuses in return. A whole load of them.
Back to the same issue. Whatever I do which you dislike is WRONG, but whatever you do that I don’t like is perfectly ALRIGHT.
In a foul mood again, for no apparent reason.
Sigh should have gone out earlier so I wouldn’t be at home getting angry with the world.
I really don’t know how to stay positive when people around me are in a constant gloom.
I think my mum sees me as the son that she can never count on, the one who’s responsible for anything that goes wrong at home.
Who can blame her? After so much disappointments I have given to my parents, proving what kind of failure I am.
I think it is embarrassing for them to hear relatives ask me what I am doing now, or when I am going to get a girlfriend.
Worst of it all? I still have that nonchalant attitude towards school, giving shit effort and getting back equally shit results. I don’t know when I am ever going to wake up.
Sigh another night of hating myself.
I am not popular, neither am I smart.
I really don’t know why I am placed on this Earth. I am good at and for nothing.
Maybe except for whining.
Too arrogant
Too proud
Too conceited
For my own good.
It is awful to even feel sad, when I don’t think I deserve to feel this way.
It is all my fault. I need to find an outlet.
And I can’t even go get an outrageous hairstyle to destress with because the shutters are going to be down due to the festive season.
This is horrible. And this isn’t me.
